Why It is Important to vet new Romantic Partners

Snooping can be uncomfortable, particularly if you’re not serious about a new romantic interest yet. It can feel too intimate to discover personal information. So, should you do a background check on a potential partner?

Arguably, a quick online screening can be helpful in that it can reveal withheld information, such as an ex you didn’t know they had or excessive debt. You can use background check resources to your advantage if you want to be informed about who you’re seeing.

The Pluses

A fast search can show interesting information about a new romantic prospect: where they grew up, what they studied, etc. It’s also very easy to do. You don’t need more than their name in many cases. Of course, any other information you have can help, including their date of birth, a phone number, or an email address. 

You could combine a set of data: their current location, where they went to school, where they were born, and what they do. You could be surprised by what you find. Here is find people by name.

You’ll get a link to their social media if nothing else. That will still be helpful – after all, you’re connecting a name to a face.

The Minuses

Is snooping on someone ok? Some people are opposed to the mere idea of scoping out a new partner online. While it’s important to be safe, you risk taking information out of context and drawing premature conclusions. You might find they shared an odd joke on social media and be turned off by that, but a bad sense of humor isn’t a crime.

People trust each other less and less, especially when they haven’t met in person. Facts are facts. They might be scoping you out as well. At any rate, it’s not illegal to google someone. You might get information about them that seems irrelevant, like political views. If politics are important to you, it won’t be irrelevant at all.

Attraction is Distracting

Most people have some idea of the qualities they’re looking for in a potential partner. Yet, the part of people that chooses who they’re attracted to isn’t always their most rational one. You might feel irresistibly drawn to them, but how do you know they’ll be a good match long-term? You don’t.

At the beginning of a relationship, your brain is swayed by a host of “attraction” neurotransmitters, like dopamine and noradrenaline. Sometimes, they can cloud your judgment. A reliable people search tool can be indispensable to help you see beneath the surface.

What Relationship Do You Want to Build?

Most people spend some time imagining their ideal partner. They consider the partner’s job, appearance, personal qualities, and more. However, there’s something more important than the perfect partner – the kind of relationship you want to create with them. This is not something many people consider.

Before vetting someone, becoming clear on this is a great place to start. A lot of people end up suffering because they never talked about the type of relationship they wanted to build. They have assumptions they never questioned and conclusions they jumped to about how they should be treated and what they think their partner should be doing.

However, couples didn’t actually sit down and agree to those things. Now, each one wants the other to conform to their expectations and to act a certain way when they didn’t talk about it.

How can Vetting Them Help?

Vetting someone before you become attached to them could help establish what kind of person they are and if they can meet your expectations. It can be a smart approach to take if you believe discussing expectations too soon could scare them off. You might be concerned that you’ll come off as desperate or boring.

Have the Talk Sooner Rather Than Later

At any rate, bringing up the subject of your future relationship and expectations is best done sooner rather than later. You can weed out someone who’s not right for you from the start. Ask them to be honest and be honest yourself. Don’t present yourself as someone who’s looking for a relationship with a lot of affection and contact if it’s not true, and vice versa.

It’s of paramount importance to have an upfront talk about your needs and expectations with a potential mate – even more so than doing a background check. Taking a look at their online footprint can be just as important. Ideally, you’d do both to weed out the wrong people.