Finding Your Perfect Wife – 7 Key Tips

The divorce rate in the US is pretty high. But it’s not as high as in many other countries.

What this tells us is that people are not finding the right spouses to begin with. They meet someone and don’t check out the important things that will make a marriage work for a lifetime.

So, men, this one’s for you. If you want to find the perfect wife, you might want to read through these tips for finding her.

Now before we go forward, let’s dispel a myth.  Many believe that the high divorce rate has resulted in part because the now-popular online dating doesn’t allow couples to get to know each other well enough. Online dating has even gone international, and men can meet, converse, video chat, etc. with a potential mail-order wife, on platforms such as BridesUniverse. And in the process, they can talk about the important compatibility factors that will make for a strong partnership before they decide to meet in person.

In short, technology has made it possible for relationships to build, just as if the two were together.

Now onto the tips for finding that perfect wife.

Love Yourself First

You are a full package of strengths and weaknesses. Everyone is. Capitalize on what you’re good at and recognize where you need to focus on for improvement. Accept yourself for exactly who you are right now, and embrace that.

Don’t hide your weaknesses from a potential partner – they have them too. Together, you can help each other work on personal development. This creates a bond.

Identify Your Dating Patterns

Why have your previous relationships not worked out? There could be several reasons. Maybe you have chosen beautiful women with little consideration for anything else. When it becomes clear that you have nothing else in common, you end it.

Maybe you have deliberately chosen women who are inferior to you because you have a need to feel superior. If that’s the case, you have a self-image issue. If you are totally happy with yourself, then you have no need to feel superior to others.

Healthy dating patterns and an ultimate healthy marriage are the result of both partners wanting someone equal to them in important areas – intelligence and emotional maturity, for example.

Make Sure Your Basic Values are the Same

Of course, you don’t want a wife who is a carbon copy of you. That would be pretty boring. But you do want one whose values are the same. 

Do you both want children? What are your thoughts about raising children? Do you both have the same approach to finances? If spirituality is important to you, does the woman you are dating have spiritual beliefs that are compatible? Do you both value loyalty and honesty? Are you both committed to community enhancement, fairness, and justice? How about self-discipline and perseverance?

Now, you both may have some different interests and passions. Maybe you are committed to environmental causes; perhaps she is devoted to animal rescue. And you will agree to support each other’s activities in this regard. That agreement in itself is a shared value.

Fun and Humor

There is a great commercial currently running on American TV, for a brand of cookies. A couple decides that it is “cookie time” and then engages in all types of crazy, funny activities while eating and feeding each other those cookies. Here are two people with a shared sense of humor.

Even in an online relationship, you can have fun together, using technology such as video chats and live streaming, provided the website you are using provides for that (and you should choose one that does).

Do you both find the same things humorous? Sharing humor is another way of bonding. If she sees your humor as “dumb” and you see hers as too sarcastic or “dark,” then you will probably not make it as a couple.

Yes, having fun and sharing humor that you both enjoy is critical to a solid, long-lasting relationship.

Check Your Ability to Communicate

Lack of open and honest communication is one of the top reasons for divorce. You can “test” your compatibility in this regard during your dating relationship, whether in person or online, as you talk about everything from your life goals, your family and friends, your interests and hobbies, your major pet peeves, and more. When you ask questions, does she provide straight or vague answers? When you talk about things, does she show that she is listening and really “hears” what you have said? And are you doing the same? 

Couples who have great communication will be far more able to resolve the issues and challenges that are bound to come up in a marriage.

Is She Just a Good Person?

She may be beautiful, and that may have been what first attracted you to her. But beautiful brides are a “dime a dozen.” What is she truly like as a human being? 

Watch for telling clues. How does she speak about her co-workers and those she considers her friends? Is she judgmental and negative or compassionate and understanding of their faults and problems?

How does she talk about those who may be beneath her “station” in life?  Does she speak disrespectfully of clerks, waiters, and other service workers when a purchase or a meal isn’t right? Does she complain about the custodian who cleans her workspace? These are not good signs.

Here is an example of a good sign. “Our poor custodian. He cleans this huge office space all by himself. I’ve started cleaning my space on my own so he has less to do. He needs an assistant!”

In the End, Above All, Don’t “Settle”

You may be anxious to find your perfect wife as soon as possible. In that hurry, you find yourself willing to settle for less than you really know you want. And so you make a quick decision, and propose to a woman, figuring you’ll work on the glaring incompatibilities after you’re married.

Just don’t do it!

Those incompatibilities will not change, and divorce can be messy and expensive.

Take your time and “kiss some toads” while you wait patiently for your princess. She will show up.

Above all, use your heart, your brain, and your common sense.