ZOMG, Candy!

I tried. I really, really tried to give the Necco Sky Bar a fair shake of a review. It’s a retro bar and is deliberately marketed as such, with it’s matte-looking wrapper, photos, and font. Nostalgia is about all this guy’s got going for it.

The bar is billed as “4 flavors in milk chocolate.” It comes in four segments, each imprinted with the word “Necco.” One segment is filled with caramel, another with vanilla, another with peanut, and the final one with fudge. Wait - I take that back. Let’s try that again. One segment is filled with “caramel,” another with “vanilla,” another with “peanut,” and the final one with “fudge.”

Why the quotation marks? Because the fillings vaguely tasted like rude approximations of what they were labeled as, but to call them a real caramel or vanilla or fudge or peanut butter would be a travesty. They were nasty goops, all of them. And nasty goop inside poor quality milk chocolate just makes for more nastiness.

I took a small bite out of each of these for the sake of candy blogging science, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat those bites slowly or thoughtfully. I just wanted the nasty swallowed and as far away from my taste buds as possible. So, readers, that is why I have no descriptions for you. All that’s in my tasting notebook is “nasty goo” and a giant scribble.

Usually I give my tasting leftovers to friends. The Sky Bar I tossed, as I thought it too horrible to inflict upon others. A definite – that caused me to hover my mouse over the box that would’ve categorized this as “not candy”. If you don’t believe me, check out fellow Sugar Savvy writer Sylvie’s take. She didn’t hate it as much as I did, but she also found it disappointing.

Clark bar (BUY!), where have you been all my life? I’d read about them but had never seen one until Economy Candy. I thought they were no longer being made, but fortunately, they’re still in existence. Nostalgia candy usually disappoints, but the Clark is surprisingly tasty.

As the wrapper says, a Clark bar is chocolatey coated peanut butter crunch. Yes, that means that it’s covered in fake chocolate. Surprisingly enough, the Clark’s fake chocolate coating is pretty good, but I still wish it were real.

The Clark reminds me of a Butterfinger with it’s flakey, toffee-like innards, only the Clark is much more crumbly and less apt to get stuck in your molars. That’s a good thing, as I avoid Butterfingers solely because I hate picking it out of my teeth later. There’s a little peanut butter taste in the flakes, but it’s fairly subtle.

Overall, I thought the bar was too sweet, and I could have used a glass of milk to wash it down with. I think covering it in real dark chocolate could fix that. Despite the sweetness, I actually ate the whole thing in one sitting for breakfast (healthy, I know!) when I hadn’t intended to. Healthwise, the Clark is actually not too bad for a candy bar. 220 calories, 8g of fat, 4 of them saturated.

I give it an OM. I’d eat it again, but I’d eat it again and again if it were covered in real chocolate.