ZOMG, Candy!

Globe-trotting Neil (it’s so unfair how easy it is to travel between European countries!) has another across the pond review for you. ~Rosa

As promised, I have some posts up my sleeve. While waiting for dinner to cook tonight, I thought I’d simultaneously have a snack and feel productive by writing this. I pulled out a Nestle Kit Kat I picked up on a recent trip to London: Kit Kat Chunky Caramel Duo.

The package promised “Crisp wafer pieces with a caramel creamy topping (20%), covered in milk chocolate (60%).” Well, that’s sort of what I got.

The milk chocolate looked fairly standard - a bit beat up from my travel, for sure. The bars themselves are fairly thick. The two side by side are about the width of my wrist, which, let’s be honest, is not that impressive.

Eating it was sadly also not that impressive. The caramel just didn’t come through at ALL. It’s like the “creamy topping” had at some point just dried up to match the consistency of the wafer. No caramel flavor or contrasting texture.

Though it’s been in my cupboard since January, the label says it’s good through July, so it shouldn’t have gone stale in that time. I’m inclined to think it just wasn’t that caramelly to start with.

I set aside the second chunk for another time. It will probably be after dinner, sure, but I don’t see myself tracking this down in future travel. An O for the Duo.

When the folks at Gumball.com asked me to review some free gumballs and a gumball machine, I thought, “Why not?”

I can’t remember the last time I actually had a gumball, but I do remember wishing my parents would buy me one when I was a kid. For the record, my tiger parents never did…

My bag of Dubble Bubble gumballs had “10 Assorted Fruit Flavors”: peach, orange, apple, cherry, grape, berry, strawberry shortcake, strawberry, watermelon, and banana.

All of the gumballs were attractively colorful, shiny, and imprinted with the Dubble Bubble logo. They had a colored sugar shell and a white gum layer around a hollow center. All took on a firm, stiff chew within a dozen or so chomps.

Peach was orange with red splotches. It tasted like sugar. Orange was just orange. There was maybe a whiff of orange citrus to the start? And then it just tasted like sugar.

Apple was a bright lime green, the color of a granny smith apple. It had the edge of a granny smith apple’s sourness for a fleeting second, then tasted like sugar.

Cherry was red on the package, but its shell was practically black in reality. A bit of dark red was visible when it was bitten into. It tasted a little like a cherry popsicle at the very beginning, and then tasted like sugar.

Are we starting to see a theme here? Grape was a blueish purple and started off tasting like a grape popsicle for a half second.

Berry (white with colored speckles), strawberry shortcake (light pink with dark pink speckles), and strawberry (neon pink) just tasted like sugar.

Watermelon was a darker grassy green and had the most actually distinguishable flavor. It tasted of floral candy watermelon Jolly Rancher for almost three seconds! And then it tasted like sugar.

And finally, banana, which was yellow, carried just a whiff of banana essence. And then tasted like sugar.

Clearly I am no longer the target audience for gumballs. They all pretty much just tasted – you guessed it – like sugar, which is mostly what they are.

They get a – from my now grown-up palate. They’re a harmless 25 cent treat for your kid, but if you’re old enough to read this, you’re probably too old to like these chewy sugar bombs.

As for the gumball machine, it’s kind of cool! I’m trying to think about how I can use it in a science experiment, as I’m currently studying self-control in kiddos.

Here’s one more review of a Ricolino product that I bought at a local Hispanic grocery store: Chocoretas. The bag described them as “chocolate and artificially mint flavored candy”.

I appreciate the honesty of the “artificially mint flavored” designation. I think just about all mass-market mint candies are artificially flavored, but not all are so forthright about it.

The Chocoretas were little pale mint green balls, about a centimeter in diameter. They had a thin and super crunchy sugar shell – much more substantial than that of an M&M – and a pepperminty chocolate center.

The chocolate flavor was light and mostly tasted of peppermint that carried a lightly cooling sensation. There was an overall creamy sensation to the finish.

These were like a candy version of mint chocolate chip ice cream, plus some added textural contrast from the crunchy sugar shells. I found them to be pretty good, and I bet they’d make great ice cream or cupcake toppers. An OM.

After Wednesday’s disaster of a Ricolino product review, I thought it would be nice to close out the week with a Ricolino product that I really liked. This bag of Kranky K was also purchased at a local Hispanic grocery store.

The wrapper described them as “corn flakes with chocolate flavoring coating”. Again, the “chocolate flavoring” was a little worrisome – would this be another mockolate disaster?

While the ingredients list had hydrogenated palm oil instead of cocoa butter, it did at least have cocoa. And the amount of chocolate flavoring was so thin that it masked the lack of true chocolate.

The cornflakes brought a wonderfully firm and crisp crunch and a hearty toastiness in flavor. They were solid, stiff flakes; no Special K-style flimsy wimpiness here.

The coating had a light cocoa flavor with an undertone of maltiness. They were understated in their sweetness and acted as a great foil against the starch of the cornflakes.

My only complaint is that there was a slight hint of chalkiness to the finish. I bet that could’ve been helped by using actual chocolate!

I was surprised at how well this simple, unassuming treat worked. It was a nice mix of textures and flavors. An OM.

Huevitos was another Ricolino’s candy that I picked up at a local Hispanic grocery. They were touted as new, though Cybele said she had them last year.

The packaged described them as “candy coated chocolate flavor eggs.” ”Chocolate flavor” is a marketing/packaging red flag. It means that there’s no actual cocoa butter inside.

These looked nice, like prettily speckled eggs. But ooh they smelled gnarly, like anise (I’m an avid licorice detester).

The candies had brown spotted sugar shells that I could easily smoosh between my fingers. The “chocolate flavor” centers were soft, grainy, and chewy.

Those centers tasted worse than they smelled – it was both sour and sweet with chemical flavors and an anise edge. I couldn’t even finish one.

It’s a shame that they were so pretty to behold, yet so gross to eat. Run away! A –.

This week I’ll be reviewing some candies that I picked up at a local Hispanic grocery store. First up are Ricolino’s Moritas Sour Gummies, which the bag describes as “pectin gummies with artificial blackberry and strawberry flavors [sic] sugar dots.”

At first glance, they looked like standard raspberry/blackberry gummi candies, though these were strawberry rather than raspberry. In fact, I found them to be better than other versions that I’ve had!

The sugar dots on the outside were what made these stand out. They were little balls of compressed sugar that crumbled into a burst of bright fruity, slightly sour flavor into my mouth. They carried all the flavor punch.

The soft jelly center had the instant give of fruit pate and a perfectly smooth texture. There was no chewy sproing that the gummi descriptor led me to expect.

The dark black/purple ones reminded me of currant flavors but without any tannic bite. The red ones had a lighter, more floral note and was like a sour strawberry.

These were nicely flavorful and tart. I’d buy them again if I needed a sweet pick-me-up. An OM.

I’m not a regular coffee drinker, so when I got a Starbucks gift card for the holidays, I spent it on smoothies and candy, including this bag that was labeled “milk chocolate caramel brulee.” They were shiny and spherical chocolate-covered caramels.

Their size and composition was exceedingly similar to Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Tahitian Vanilla Caramels. Fortunately, I had half a bag of the TJ’s version handy for a direct comparison.

The Starbucks version was covered in milk chocolate instead of dark, making for a sweeter treat. The caramel center had a distinct rummy butterscotch note and just a hint of salt to the end.

The Trader Joe’s dark chocolate ones tasted sweeter and fruitier by comparison. The TJ’s also had a stiffer chew; Starbucks’ version was softer, chewier, and stickier.

I enjoyed the butterscotch note in the Starbucks caramels, but I found that the milk chocolate coating made it too sweet altogether. A mashup of the Trader Joe’s chocolate and Starbucks’s caramel center would be great.

As is, it’s not a bad treat; just too sweet. Also the bag was annoying to open and reclose in a way to save the rest for later. An O.

I think Gigi reviewed an earlier incarnation of these, when they were called milk chocolate burnt caramels.

Hey candy lovers! Today we’ve got another post on candy from the Netherlands, courtesy of Neil. ~Rosa

Hoi hoi! I’ve been “hamstering” candy over the past few months, so I have a whole lot of posts in the queue. The first is grocery store brand Albert Heijn‘s Zachte Frisse Vruchten, or Soft Fresh/Bright Fruits.

The bag advertises “six.. flavors” but only shows five varieties. There are, indeed, six different types of candy inside: banana, orange, pear, green apple, strawberry, and elderberry. My friend Jana helped me review and provide some global perspective.

Banana’s flavor came through very slowly and when it did, it was much like a circus peanut. That time waiting for flavor was spent chewing, as the body of it was more like plastic than elastic. I also took this time to explain circus peanuts to Jana, because they’re not available in Germany. One must wonder sometimes about globalization. O

The orange slice was the one most visually similar to its real life counterpart. It had a sweetness like an orange soda rather than a real orange, however. Based on its appearance, Jana expected it to specifically taste like a clementine. An unexciting O.

One piece looked look a bicycle seat. For Jana, it looked exactly like a pear, and “if it hadn’t, [she] wouldn’t have been able to tell what it was.” I must confess that I don’t really know what pears taste like. I mostly tasted lemon, neither overly sweet nor sour, just pleasantly inoffensive. The pear pieces had the hardest bite at first, but rapidly became chewy. An O.

The green apple’s classic flavor made me very happy after the pear disappointment. Jana thought it was too sweet to be “sour” apple, but that’s exactly what made it so perfect for me. This one really stuck to my teeth. OM

Strawberry, the pink piece, had the most intense flavor of any and it was like a Starburst, which also haven’t made their way into Germany yet. They’re really missing out! Jana compared the flavor to German Schnüre, which are something like Red Vines. I would happily eat a whole bag of these. Definitely an OM from me.

The final was the most mysterious. A translation of “vlierbessen” led to the conclusion that these grape-bunch-lookalikes were elderberry flavored! So unexpected! The flavor struck me as herbal and liqueur-like, perhaps because I’ve had the elderberry liqueur St. Germain before. Being so confused by what it was supposed to be, I have to give it an O.

Overall, the bag was not a bad thing to nibble through for the evening, but I’m not rushing out to pick up more. Oh, let’s be honest: I only bought it because it was on sale.

Usually companies (or their PR firms) contact me to get my address and ask about my review policy before sending me free samples. This Peterbrooke Chocolatier Wonder Egg arrived without warning. It was a nice surprise and made waves at lab due to its impressive size.

This chocolate egg was ginormous (shown below with jelly bean for size reference). It was nearly six inches long and weighed almost 1 pound. Four ounces of that pound was chocolate-covered popcorn that was hidden inside the hollow chocolate egg.

The milk chocolate shell was about half a centimeter thick. It had a thick melt and was extremely sweet. I caught some dairy caramel notes and a slightly sour finish due to the sweetness level. Some bites ended with a toasty note from the popcorn in the center.

The popcorn clusters varied in size and chocolate coating amount. Some clumps were made of several pieces while others were single or partial bits.

The popcorn tasted fresh and toasty with a healthy dose of saltiness. Many of the pieces carried the yellow sheen of butter.

The mix of chocolate and salty popcorn was addictive and kept me popping, but the mix of chocolate and butter was odd. I wish the popcorn was caramelized instead.

Finally, the cute little bunny that decorated the egg was made of sandy sugar, like a sugar cube. It instantly crumbled when bitten.

The milk chocolate was nice, if not exceptional, and the popcorn was a decent sweet and salty treat, though I could have done without the butter component.

These Wonder Eggs retail for $25. That’s more than I would spend on it, mostly because I don’t need that much chocolate, and I don’t celebrate Easter.

They’re significantly cheaper than Hotel Chocolat’s giant chocolate eggs, but Hotel Chocolat uses a higher caliber of chocolate. The Wonder Eggs aren’t a gourmet treat, but they’re an affordable, statement-making Easter centerpiece/dessert. An O.

Three words: bacon jelly beans.

Oh I’m sorry, you wanted more than that? Okay. I got a free sampler box of David’s Signature Beyond Gourmet Jelly Beans (available online from Amazon/Oregon Trail Foods), and it included a bacon flavor. Which I will review last to make sure you keep reading.

The David behind the beans is the David Klein who invented Jelly Belly beans but sold his share of the company before they got big. Like their Jelly Belly counterparts, the Beyond Gourmet beans are packed with flavor in the shell and the jelly center.

I’m going off my Jelly Belly memory here, as I didn’t have any handy for a direct comparison, but I think the Beyond Gourmet beans were softer in texture.

I could easily squish them between my fingers. As I chewed them, the jelly center consolidated into a soft, grainy mush that was vibrant and full of flavor.

Black cherry was sweet and brightly fruity with just a hint of tartness and not a whiff of medicinal notes.

Blueberry did an incredible job of capturing the essence of real blueberries, like blueberry yogurt without the dairy notes and with the tartness turned up.

Coconut was sweet to start, then took on the light creaminess of coconut milk. I didn’t get any nuttiness, but the flavor was pleasant enough, though I felt it was too mild and faded into sugary sweetness too quickly.

Cranberry was sweet and juicy and tart and tangy. I actually would’ve pegged it as pomegranate, as it lacked the tannic bite of cranberry. Either way, it was enjoyably flavorful.

Ginger was incredibly strong and nicely captured ginger’s spicy bite. It was really true to form, like eating raw ginger, and I found it too intense to finish.

Grape went the familiar popsicle route but managed to keep it sweet and fruity but not medicinal (though rather artificial).

Green apple was lightly tart with a grassy note that danced on its edge and set it apart from the standard Jolly Rancher take on green apple.

Himalyan sea salt was a strange choice for a flavor and was weird in execution. It was mostly sweet with just a tinge of saltiness. I was too scared to embrace the oddness and didn’t try too hard to finish it.

Lemon started like a lemon drop with a bright sourness. Then, it took on a edge of zestiness with just a smidge of pithy bitterness. It was wonderfully complex and my favorite of the bunch.

Orange punch tasted just like orange soda. The flavor was spot on, artificial sweetness and all.

Peach tasted like a peach gummi ring rather than the real fruit. It was intense and fruity, if rather artificial.

Pomegranate had a mild floral sweetness, then became tart and tangy with a tannic edge. It had an effervescence to the flavor (not actual bubbles) that was awesome.

Root beer was intense: strong and genuinely sassafrassy with a bitter edge. It was too much for me, but real root beer lovers would enjoy it.

Strawberry was neither mild nor floral. It had an intensity to its flavor, like strawberry jam with an herbal, grassy note to the finish.

Vanilla bean was true to its namesake, mildly sweet with airy vanilla essence overtones.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: bacon was salty, smoky, and meaty with a maple syrup sweetness. The flavor was right but the jelly bean texture combined with the taste of bacon was too weird. I couldn’t finish it due to the cognitive dissonance.

Overall, these beans are great! I can’t reiterate enough how vibrant and intense the flavors were – so much tastiness in such small packages!

I could’ve done without the bacon and Himalayan sea salt, but they were attention-getting in their novelty. I’m glad I tasted them, so they don’t merit the — rating, but once in a lifetime is enough for me.

While ginger and root beer weren’t to my taste, they were faithful interpretations of those flavors and get Os, as do coconut and vanilla bean for their relative mildness. The rest of the beans (all the fruit flavored ones) get an OMG for their awesome intensity, and lemon earns that extra Z for a ZOMG!