I picked up these mini-boxes of random Heide candies on Halloween. I wasn’t trick-or-treating; I was party hopping, and these were placed out at Pierson College’s Inferno party. For one of Yale’s wealthier residential colleges, Pierson sure put out lousy candy. Then again, considering how many college students use Halloween as an excuse to drink themselves silly, maybe Pierson was just being prudent with its pennies.
The grape and wild cherry flavors looked pretty different on the boxes, but inside, they were the same shape, just different colors. Why cherries would be bumpy, I don’t know. Maybe they caught some sort of candy pox. And the red raspberry dollars looked nothing like the flat discs on the box. See for yourself (candies arranged in same position as their boxes):
The Heide candies were stiff gummi-ish chews that get stuck in your teeth like whoa. They were like Dots, but worse because they were stickier and because they didn’t taste as good as Dots do.
The cool grape tasted like a mild artificial grape popsicle. Wild cherry was pretty tame – it tasted faintly of artificial cherry and had a weird floral finish. The red raspberry dollars didn’t taste at all like raspberry. All I got was sugary sweetness. It’s rare that I throw away uneaten candy, as I usually share my leftovers with friends, but these guys were too horrible to inflict on others.
Thankfully, I don’t think you can buy these candies in large boxes. They must come in mixes with other candies. If you see them, run away. Or foist them on people you don’t like. Easily a —.
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