Via†The Hairpin, an†absurd chocolate non-recipe recipe†from The Food Network.
Check out the comments; they’re pretty hilarious. A few examples:
“This was delightful! I’m also looking for recipes for “Milk Chocolate” and “White Chocolate.” Does anybody have any?”
“Ellie, I would like to double this recipe, as I’m married. Do I need to make any adjustments?”
“Not to be presumptuous, but I improved on this recipe by adding two sticks of butter and some microwaved bacon.”