U-No
October 14th, 2009 by Rosa
The U-NO was another chocolate bar from in my free sample box from Munchies Sweets and Treats (full disclosure: they’re currently running a paid text-link ad in my sidebar). I had been excited about tasting it because I’d never had one before, and I had no idea what would be inside. The shiny silver wrapper touted “rich creamy chocolate,” but it didn’t have the heft of a solid chocolate bar. What could be inside?
I wish I had let that remain a mystery. For starters, my bar looked an unappetizing wreck when I opened it. Instead of a shiny, glossy, chocolate-covered something, it was cracked and flaking, and much of it stuck to the inside of the wrapper. I don’t think that was Munchies’ fault; Annabelle’s, which made this, also makes the Rocky Road, which is known to suffer from lack of adequate packaging.
See?
I snuck a piece of this while I was photographing it. I remember it being AWFUL. Greasy and strangely overly fruity. I had to really psych myself up just to take another nibble for the purposes of this review – I made sure it was miniscule – and yup, still greasy and strangely fruity. Somewhere in there is a nice malty chocolate note, but the U-No is beyond redemption.
It does have a fascinating texture. It’s like someone stuck chocolate in a food processor, added a ton of hydrogenated vegetable oils, pulsed it into a super-fine-grained paste, and formed it into a log. You can almost feel the little fat globules suspended in the bar.
One tiny 1.5 oz bar has 11 grams of saturated fat. To put that in perspective, that’s 57% of the recommended daily allowance for someone on a 2000 calorie diet. The remainder of the bar is went straight in the trash, right in the Ziploc bag I sealed it in after I unwrapped it for photographing. I think that’s the candy equivalent of sacrificing and chunking a Tupperware container because whatever’s gone bad inside is so horrible that you can’t bring yourself to open it and wash it out.
It’s too – worthy to inflict on another human being. Pardon the obvious pun, but the U-No is a huge no-no – if anyone ever offers you one, you should scream “No! No!” and run away. Even thinking about eating it makes me nauseated.
Stumble it!
This entry was posted onWednesday, October 14th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under --, Annabelle's, chocolate. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Thank you, Rosa, for having the courage to go there, so the rest of us won’t have to.
I recall a U-No from when I was a kid, but somehow I remember something whiteish and sort of fluffy/greasy inside. Of course, I have way fewer brain cells than I used to, and my tastes as a kid were basically: “candy? I’ll eat it!” So who knows!
October 26th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
I did read this beforehand, but for some reason was still compelled to try a tiny bite. It wasn’t as gross as the meat-flavored jelly beans, but I still had to spit it out. the description of the texture was disturbingly accurate.